I had a rupture of a year and survived: 'i was not ready, not ready, academically or emotionally'

I distinctly remember that feeling. I just turned 17. It was spring, and I finished 12th grade and soon graduated. I've spent years making myself feel like everyone else is so easily fit. I remember standing in front of my classmate, blushing, feeling small, standing beside my friend, on my side, her hand on her back, as a gesture of her solidarity

"In fact, I'm not going to school in the fall," all I've managed to do is get out of control

I spent a lot of years, feeling like I was keeping a thread in a lot of my classes. To be honest, I didn' t have the passion or motivation for an academic school I was into. When the transition from high school to high school took place, my parents were trying to help: "Why not go to the North-there is a lot more opportunities for art and crafts," they encouraged

But I'd like to move with my friends, I didn' t want to change course. I wanted to fit in to blend in

In high school everyone made choices for their future schools. Western, Queens, Laurel seemed to be the norm. I spent the last couple of months in denial to keep the facade, that I, too, was ready for the next big step, to go away and continue chasing academics to get my career in my dream. I went through all the offers-applying to all the expected universities, allowing my parents to spend hundreds of dollars on applications that were submitted

But the charade got up. I almost broke up

He was at a party in one of my friends ' houses. The conversation focused on the whole future, and find out who would go to the same schools where they live. I remember standing with one of my best friends when a guy came up to us. Until then, I did everything right when I went to the university when I had a dream school, but it was applied to other standards, so that my options were open. I'd like to get a promising degree in the field of general art. To tell you the truth, I had no interest in the reality of this choice. I had no idea I'd like to study, or worse than I'd like to be. I spent my school years on courses that I didn' t really care about, just push the next step. But it seemed to me that I had no choice or authority in the decision

I remember watching his face, because he wanted to say something. At the same moment, I remember the warmth in my cheeks and the threat of tears behind my eyes. I remember my friend running my back

He said, "Next year, we're all going to have to deal with Laurier together, you know what you're in?" And with these words, it was all over. I remember being so ashamed that the truth finally came out, "Oh, I'm not going to Laurel next year ... or at some school." I remember watching his face, because he wanted to say something. At the same moment, I remember the warmth in my cheeks and the threat of tears behind my eyes. I remember my friend running my back. I was so ashamed

I knew how people in my school were talking about students who didn' t go to universities right away because, unfortunately, I was one of them. Dialogues discussing the obvious refusal: "If you don't go straight to high school, you will lose motivation and never allow it." All these stories, these stories written for others, suddenly were upon me

The only part of the situation that you thought was wrong was my shared shame. The funny part is that the decision about not going to school was the most recent release I've done to date. I knew I wasn't ready, academically or emotionally, to go away and start a career that was impossible to imagine at that moment

The funny part is that the decision about not going to school was the most recent release I've done to date. I knew I wasn't ready, academically or emotionally, to get away

I remember a sense of relief when I made a choice. I also remember my parents supporting my decision, and I felt that I had a chance to stop and breathe. I didn' t think I was doomed, actually, I knew that if I went to school at that moment, I would have decided that I was ready for a huge spin. I wasn't part of a common self-love-I wasn't going to school because I was unlucky. I knew that I wanted to go to school in the end, probably next year. But I felt that none of these conditions were relevant, I could not walk around everyone in my class and explain to me how well that decision (and I didn' t want). I just had to let go of my concerns about what my colleagues would think

That was so. The plot came out because three of us stood in an awkward silence, and no one knew what to say. I remember their faces, and my friends, with my love massage my back, as if I was consoled and consoled by my "rejection."

I understand that this is not all. I'm not trying to say that everyone in high school feels the way I did it, but it's for people who

Indicates that I made it after this decision during the year of the pass or is not relevant. I was going to write about what my life looks like, and where she took me after this choice, but it's not necessary. I made a decision that was the best for me then, and that's all that matters. I walked out of the train, even if I had to jump and get a couple of beads and bruises in the process. If I wanted to do something differently, I would like to have the confidence that this decision will shine before. I didn' t know anything better, I really thought it was a shame, but it wasn't

I walked out of the train, even if I had to jump and get a couple of beads and bruises in the process

I want you to know (at least as much as possible) that I am here to take you back, not comfort you for a "shameful decision", but to reassure you that you are going to school next year or not, if you have made your decision yourself, you will be fine

I want to tell you that everything will be fine, you are not doomed, you are not doomed, it is your life and your path, and there is not a single way to do this

* Views expressed in respect of the author, and not necessarily for the "Student life" or their partners

Spoiler: After she had a badge year, she completed five years in a row with a degree and a degree (she also took the year between the two). She eventually landed safely in SLN, working in all data and research. She's taking a vegetarian vegan and making beer-pong rules as she goes